Time to try woke wiping 

Just like Princess Diana used to take her sons on visits to the homeless and people with AIDS, Elon Musk is trying to teach his children the ways of the world. He recently took them to Walmart to witness the toilet-paper shortage cause by the pandemic.

“I wasn’t sure, is this like a real thing or not? Musk said. “I actually took my kids to the H-E-B and Walmart in Texas to just confirm if it was real. Indeed, it was. And there’s plenty of food and everything else but just nothing, no paper products.”

Musk mused about what an “odd choice” of item for people to panic about. “If [the] end of the world is coming, I think toilet paper is the least of your problems,” he noted.

The man of many bidets may not be in the best position to weigh in on the preoccupations of the little people.

Musk’s remarks have highlighted an important issue, though, and illustrated how the pandemic is, in some cases, shaking up the capitalist landscape. According to the Natural Resources Defence Council (NRDC), toilet paper is one of the biggest contributors to global warming by destroying forests that pull carbon from the atmosphere.

The TP shortages caused by supply chain issues during the pandemic have stymied major corporate brands like Charmin and Cottonelle while creating an opening for alternative, more sustainable arse-wiping products. It’s perhaps time to switch rolls and take a crack at some of the products of start-ups using recycled paper and bamboo like Cloud Paper, Cheeky Monday, and Who Gives a Crap, just to name just a few.